Wednesday, August 16, 2006
I know i posted just now... but this is of a totally different agenda...
I decided to walk the little bit of the way home rather than waiting for another bus that will take the time that i use to walk home to even arrive at the bus stop. The weather was alright and i was wearing flats, so all it took was for me to decide to walk, which i did.
Well, thoughts blasted through my mind as i walked that 5 minute stretch of road, passing by my secondary school and saw that choir practice had just ended on account of recognising many of my juniors.
Here is what i thought:
What exactly is understanding? Our teachers/lecturers/elders always tell us to understand things, but what is there to understand? You can know something/one well, but how do you understand something? Is understanding knowing something well? Then what is the difference?
I do want to get married. In fact, an early marriage would be welcome. Somehow, having a family and settling down strangely feels more important to me than having a well-paying job or the freedom of being single. Maybe i need someone i can depend on to look after me. Someone to watch my back. Someone i can be silly and bimbotic and carefree with. Someone that i can lie on his chest and make me feel secure...I've been looking after myself and doing almost everything for myself that i've started looking... This may be far too exaggerated, but i am thinking about it...
What if i am not real? What if the things around me are not real? I don't feel real.
There were more thoughts but... that's for the next random hallucinations...
I decided to walk the little bit of the way home rather than waiting for another bus that will take the time that i use to walk home to even arrive at the bus stop. The weather was alright and i was wearing flats, so all it took was for me to decide to walk, which i did.
Well, thoughts blasted through my mind as i walked that 5 minute stretch of road, passing by my secondary school and saw that choir practice had just ended on account of recognising many of my juniors.
Here is what i thought:
What exactly is understanding? Our teachers/lecturers/elders always tell us to understand things, but what is there to understand? You can know something/one well, but how do you understand something? Is understanding knowing something well? Then what is the difference?
I do want to get married. In fact, an early marriage would be welcome. Somehow, having a family and settling down strangely feels more important to me than having a well-paying job or the freedom of being single. Maybe i need someone i can depend on to look after me. Someone to watch my back. Someone i can be silly and bimbotic and carefree with. Someone that i can lie on his chest and make me feel secure...I've been looking after myself and doing almost everything for myself that i've started looking... This may be far too exaggerated, but i am thinking about it...
What if i am not real? What if the things around me are not real? I don't feel real.
There were more thoughts but... that's for the next random hallucinations...
what we could have been, 8/16/2006 02:39:00 AM.
